Write Out Loud (Reviews and Writing)

“The novel is so badly written I found it almost offensive to read”

I had this book recommended to me as something I might like. How wrong that person was (you think you know someone eh?). The fact that some people (including the aforementioned recommender) liked this novel is the only reason I’m not giving it zero stars. I guess I have to make some allowances for not liking a book because the genre or style just doesn’t fit you.

But I’m being very, very, very generous in saying that. On the whole, I’m ok with thrillers, psychological creep-outs, and have adored more than a few romances – all of which this purports to be. In reality, it is just very, very bad.

I am at a loss to understand how Colleen Hoover is a number one bestselling author if this is the quality of her work. If this manuscript had been given to me by a client to edit and mentor them through, I would have suggested many significant changes to both character development and plot. There’s stuff no sane person is going to believe and there’s major issues with most of the key moments in the story.

It shouldn’t have been hard to write this book. Failing author gets chance of a lifetime to finish the book of a famous author – the titular Verity -now comatose at her home. Verity has a dashingly handsome husband but they lost two children recently. Is something sinister going on? Murder, mystery, love and drama are all clearly on the cards. You just have to steer your way through carefully…

Hoover doesn’t steer: she smashes into every scene and idea. We start with a bizarre and totally irrelevant opening. I was hoping the beginning would prove to be significant. It didn’t. We have a scenario that is medically stupid and impossible. We have an ending with a plot twist which is insipid and utterly dumb. Even the sex – and there’s a lot of it – is boring and ‘vanilla’.

Worst of all, we supposedly have two books being written. One by the narrator and one by the allegedly famous Verity, found while the main character is looking through her notes. If I was mentoring Hoover I would have told her that to pull this off she has to make sure it doesn’t sound like the same author trying to be two different characters. It is very obviously nothing other than Colleen Hoover trying to be exactly that and failing utterly. Not that this matters, I guess. None of the characters shine. Even at the end, when Hoover accidentally makes them all stupid and, frankly, disgusting, I found I couldn’t care less. These characters could murder babies and drown puppies and I wouldn’t so much as raise an eyebrow in distress.

The novel is so badly written I found it almost offensive to read. I get it that not every book is going to strike a chord with everyone. I don’t have an axe to grind against someone make a fortune out of their book. I do get upset when trash is paraded as brilliant. When reviewers, such as Claire Contreras, featured on the back blurb, tell us this story is “riveting and unexpected, impossible to put down” – it is honestly none of these things – I get upset.

This is the reason I rarely read ‘current’ bestsellers and books on the top ten lists in W H Smiths. Nine times out of ten they are actually pretty awful. The ones that aren’t are usually the books still being talked about ten years later. Those are the ones worth reading. This is also why I couldn’t give two hoots about ‘famous’ authors or ‘bestsellers’. I have had the pleasure of reading many newbie writers and self-published authors who have crafted superb stories with fantastic characters. I wish there were more ways to promote the truly good. I absolutely champion such authors when I come across them.

Whatever, I won’t read another Hoover. Once bitten, twice shy. Unless you love utterly trashy and pointless novels, steer very clear. This novel is for either really stupid people who would be surprised by the sun rising in the morning, or the monumentally bored. Everyone else, read something from at least ten years ago.

My Verdict:

Social Entrepreneur, educationalist, bestselling author and journalist, D K Powell is the author of the bestselling collection of literary short stories “The Old Man on the Beach“. His first book, ‘Sonali’ is a photo-memoir journal of life in Bangladesh and has been highly praised by the Bangladeshi diaspora worldwide. Students learning the Bengali language have also valued the English/Bengali translations on every page. His third book is ‘Try not to Laugh’ and is a guide to memorising, revising and passing exams for students.

Both ‘The Old Man on the Beach’ and ‘Sonali’ are available on Amazon for kindle and paperback. Published by Shopno Sriti Media. The novel,’The Pukur’, was published by Histria Books in 2022.

D K Powell is available to speak at events (see his TEDx talk here) and can be contacted at dkpowell.contact@gmail.com. Alternatively, he is available for one-to-one mentoring and runs a course on the psychology of writing. Listen to his life story in interview with the BBC here.

Ken writes for a number of publications around the world. Past reviewer for Paste magazine, The Doughnut, E2D and United Airways and Lancashire Life magazine. Currently reviews for Northern Arts Review. His reviews have been read more than 7.9 million times.

Get a free trial and 20% off Shortform by clicking here. Shortform is a brilliant tool and comes with my highest recommendation.

Social Entrepreneur, educationalist, bestselling author and journalist, D K Powell is the author of the bestselling collection of literary short stories “The Old Man on the Beach“. His first book, ‘Sonali’ is a photo-memoir journal of life in Bangladesh and has been highly praised by the Bangladeshi diaspora worldwide. Students learning the Bengali language have also valued the English/Bengali translations on every page. His third book is ‘Try not to Laugh’ and is a guide to memorising, revising and passing exams for students.

Both ‘The Old Man on the Beach’ and ‘Sonali’ are available on Amazon for kindle and paperback. Published by Shopno Sriti Media. The novel,’The Pukur’, was published by Histria Books in 2022.

D K Powell is available to speak at events (see his TEDx talk here) and can be contacted at dkpowell.contact@gmail.com. Alternatively, he is available for one-to-one mentoring and runs a course on the psychology of writing. Listen to his life story in interview with the BBC here.

Ken writes for a number of publications around the world. Past reviewer for Paste magazine, The Doughnut, E2D and United Airways and Lancashire Life magazine. Currently reviews for Northern Arts Review. His reviews have been read more than 7.9 million times.

Get a free trial and 20% off Shortform by clicking here. Shortform is a brilliant tool and comes with my highest recommendation.